A few months ago, I was in Chicago covering an AAU basketball tournament. It was Sunday afternoon and the tournament was winding down. There were not a lot of people in the crowd, and the people that were sitting in the bleachers were not really paying that much attention to the game. All of a sudden, I saw a handful of people rush over to another court. The game that I was watching stopped, and suddenly the stands were empty. Everybody had rushed over to the closest court.
Naturally, I walked over to the next court to find out what had happened. I didn’t see exactly what transpired, but it was not hard to tell that a fight had broken out between a couple of players. The referees were attempting to separate the players, as they both talked some trash to each other. The situation was slowly defused and everybody went back to their court.
It was an interesting moment. A couple of minutes before the fight broke out, the gym was dead. But as soon as people realized a fight was happening, everybody jumped out of their seats to try to get an eye on what happened.
Fights in the media
Everybody loves a fight. Think about what social media and the news is all about today. It is really just people fighting. It’s the left vs the right. It’s pro-choice vs pro-life. It’s defund the police vs back the blue. ESPN’s most popular sports show ‘First Take’ is Stephen A. Smith and Max Kellerman arguing about the top stories in sports for two hours.
Just like everybody rushed over to the other basketball court to see the fight between players, we all give our attention to fights in the media. Whether it is people debating on YouTube, or Twitter, or CNN. It doesn’t matter.
Think about which video is going to get more clicks.
Video #1 features two people from opposite sides of the political spectrum having a reasonable talk about the pros and cons of COVID-19 restrictions. One person says that it could be smart to limit large gatherings to slow the spread of the virus. The other person says that people should have the right to decide on the risks that they take. The two people agree that there are good points in both arguments and that there is no one perfect solution.
Video #2 features two people from the opposite side of the political spectrum shouting at each other about why they are right when it comes to COVID-19 restrictions. They go back and forth, both trying to convince the other that they are stupid and not right.
Obviously, the second video is going to get more clicks. It will get more clicks because it presents an extreme example. Even though the first video is likely to accomplish more, the second video is much more entertaining.
What happened to the grey area?
After we all pick sides in an argument, we become emotionally attached to our side of the argument. We get emotionally charged up anytime somebody challenges our argument, acting as if we have never been wrong before.
This is why so many people fail to understand the grey area that exists within almost all arguments. Each side believes that there are no holes in their argument, when in reality there always is. The answer doesn’t lie on either side of the extreme. The answer is not black or white. The answer — most of the time — is grey.
When we are fighting for our side of any given argument, we are always convinced that we are right. Our feet are driven into the ground and not looking to move anytime soon, even if there is evidence that would suggest that we should. This is a major problem.
Where is the answer?
The process of picking a fight and picking a side is great for clicks. It is great for getting more views on whatever a company is trying to promote. But for the reasons that I just laid out, it is actually a terrible way to get things done and solve problems.
Accepting the fact that you are not all knowing is the way to deal with the tricky topics that the modern world presents to us. Relize that other people have different perspectives and life experiences. Relize that because of this, they might see the world a little different than you.
If you ever find yourself observing an argument online, try to understand both sides. Don’t give in to your first impulse to pick a side and support it with a blindfold on. Because the answer to most of the controversial problems that the world is facing today doesn’t lie on the far side of either spectrum. The answer is in the middle.