I think that most of us have a negative relationship with the problems that life presents us with. After all, who enjoys problems? And I am not talking about the small problems like finding the right shoes to wear or your favorite sports team losing. I am talking about real-life problems that have a direct impact on your happiness, relationships with loved ones, career ambitions, etc.
Think of me as sort of a relationship counsler. Except, in this case I am not here to improve your relationship with another person. I am here to try and make the relationship between you and your problems a bit less toxic and more positive.
Understand your problems
I think that many of us have a negative relationship with our problems simply because we don’t understand their purpose. If there is a hole in your boat, then there will be water in your boat. The water comes into your boat, notifying you that something isn’t quite right. Sometimes the hole is pretty easy to patch up. Other times it takes a little bit more time. If the hole is truly unfixable, then you might just have to get a different boat.
From now on, I want you to think about your problems in life like a leaky boat. The actual problem is the hole. All of the frustrations, anxiety, stress, and sadness that come with it is the water that slowly creeps into your boat. All of these negative emotions are simply the fire alarm going off in your mind, letting you know that there is a hole in your metaphorical boat. No longer think of your problems as a bad thing. Instead, think of them as an opportunity to improve yourself and patch the hole in your boat.
The finish line doesn’t exist
In regards to solving problems, a lot of the time, we get too cocky. We solve a nagging problem and then allow ourselves to feel as if we are untouchable. As if there will never be another problem that is worthy enough to bother us. But there always is another problem that life throws at us. Many times, our solution to one problem ends up creating another problem.
If we are able to understand that for as long as we live there will be problems, we won’t look at our problems in such a negative light. Instead, we can learn to appreciate them as a part of our existence on this Earth. Don’t get too high. Don’t get too low.
The cycle of problems
Now that you realize you will always have problems, let’s talk about the cycle of problems. It goes something like this:
Recognize problem. Work to solve problem. Feel satisfaction for solving problem. Satisfaction slowly wears off. Another problem presents itself. Repeat.
Some problems are much bigger than others and they can take a long time to solve. Other problems can be fixed in less than a day. The bigger the problem, the more satisfaction and happiness you will feel when you solve it.
The cycle of problems will repeat itself thousands of times in your life, so you better get familiar with it.
Be happy throughout the process
In the past, I would always tell myself that I would be happy whenever I solved _____ problem. But what I didn’t realize back then was that once I solved _____ problem, another problem would quickly take its place. Later in life, I finally made the decision to be happy no matter what problem I was dealing with.
If you don’t do this, you will never actually be satisfied because life always presents us with problems. But now that we understand the purpose and cycle of problems, we are better equipped to deal with and solve our problems, all while being happy during the process.